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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/26200039">Dumb Ways To Die</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini'>Tortellini</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>The Old Guard (Movie 2020)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst, Based on a Tumblr Post, Bonding, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Family, Family Bonding, Humor, Inspired By Tumblr, Jokes, Light Angst, M/M, Mentioned Booker | Sebastien le Livre, Minor Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova, Team Bonding, Team as Family, Wordcount: 100-500</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-09-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-06 07:15:31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>480</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/26200039</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tortellini/pseuds/Tortellini</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>After one of the five is banished away, Nile adjusts to her makeshift family, and learns something that in retrospect maybe she didn't want to know. Nicky is embarrassed. Joe...really doesn't regret anything, come to think of it. And Andy laughs the hardest she has in a long, long time.</p><p>Oneshot/drabble</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Joe | Yusuf Al-Kaysani/Nicky | Nicolò di Genova</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>10</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>238</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Dumb Ways To Die</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Booker was gone.</p><p>No matter how much time had passed, it still hurt, at least to Nile. He'd been one of the four who had welcomed her into this weird fucked up life of theirs. His betrayal hurt too, don't get her wrong--and Joe was still quick to say it was unforgivable, and Nicky wouldn't even grace it with a response the one or two times Nile made the mistake of bringing it up in front of him. Andy was sympathetic. Knowing her, it sort of made sense, even though she was the one almost killed because of Booker and his grief. Nile herself at least hoped he had found something to hold onto in his solitude. She had no way of knowing for sure. </p><p>Without him, it was still the four of them. </p><p>Nile was adjusting to her family well. Joe and Nicky reminded her a bit of what she remembered of her older brother. Nicky, his gentleness, his big heart; Joe, his passion, his quick laughter and quick tongue. Andy was something else altogether. But together they were a family. </p><p>Right now they were all sitting down for dinner. The silence was nice, peaceful. Nile herself broke it. </p><p>"What's the dumbest way you guys have died?"</p><p>The question was bound to come up. She wasn't sure what she was expecting. Something funny, maybe, or even something bitter or sad. God, she hoped it didn't bring up memories of Booker who the others were trying their hardest to forget. And she expected different answers from each of them. </p><p>Andy snorted into her cup. </p><p>"Andy," Joe said. </p><p>"...'dumbest way we've died, she says..." </p><p>"Andy, please," Nicky said then too, sounding a little strained. </p><p>"Let's just say that SOME PEOPLE have literally FU--"</p><p>"ANDROMACHE OF SCYTHIA!" Joe and Nicky said at the same time. </p><p>Nile stared. "...please tell me she wasn't about to say what I think she was, guys."</p><p>"..." Andy smirked. </p><p>"..." Joe looked sheepish. Nicky didn't meet anyone's eyes. </p><p>"...are you SERIOUS."</p><p>"Okay but it wasn't our fault!" Joe put up his hands as on his other side, Andy just laughed. "It was a poorly built house--how were we supposed to know the wall would just give out like that--"</p><p>"And to be totally fair," Nicky piped up then, his voice quiet and neutral and the blush still very much relevant on his cheeks and the tips of his ears. He almost couldn't be heard over Andy still laughing. "Who builds a house right on the side of a ravine! You're trying to enjoy some quality time with the love of your life and suddenly you're hurtling off a damn cliff--"</p><p>"Oh my god." Nile shook her head, but she was grinning. </p><p>"FUCKING SOMEONE THROUGH THE WALL IS SUPPOSED TO BE HYPERBOLE YOU GUYS." Andy managed, wiping away a stray tear. </p><p>For some reason she loved this family. </p>
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